Honey Buns

It was 1974 and his name was Matt...I was in 5th grade and he was my first crush. He had wavy hair, sparkly blue eyes, big teeth that were too big for his head and a face full of freckles. He looked a lot like this.

You might recall that 5th grade is the year we all studied American History. My groovy teacher was Ms. Hartnett and she wore short polyester skirts, Leggs suntan pantyhose and "open-toed" platform shoes...she was almost as cool as Lori Partridge. Anyway, that year, she came up with the bright idea that her students would put on a presentation for our parents where the boys and girls would pair up as famous "first couples" and depict life in the White House during each respective era. The couples would be drawn randomly...at least that was the plan.

Matt reached into the hat and pulled President Harding. President who? Whatever.

I reached in and pulled the name Sarah Polk, but it only took the bribe of two week's worth of Lady Baltimore devil's food cake from my bag lunches to trade Lori Merrill for the slip bearing the name Florence Harding.  I can't remember much about the presentation itself, but I do remember that the cotton balls Matt had cleverly stuck to his bald wig to simulate grey hair kept falling off...and I got to hold his hand.

Matt moved away that summer and so did my fleeting crush, but I did eventually find the true freckle-faced boy of my dreams. Yep, that's him in the upper left. That's little Charlie Christensen.

It was eight years after the infamous Parade of Presidents and I met him at our off campus dorms my first day at UC Davis. At the time, he looked a little more like this. Was he badass or what? Did I mention he drove a cobalt blue Scirocco with a big white Starsky and Hutch stripe down the side?

Little did I know he was the reincarnation of my first crush. The freckles had faded (just a little) and his head had grown into his teeth, but that sparkle in his blue eyes and his San Rafael High Bulldogs football half jersey (not to mention the four foot speakers blaring ACDC and a perpetual keg on tap) drew me and my roommates in like a moths to a flame. It was a fun year...

Speaking of his roommates, they were cool too: a handsome blond trust fund baby, a long-haired rocker with a real mustache, an older intellectual "man" (I think he was a junior) and a Chinese/Greek guy who actually owned his own computer which took up half the room he shared with the rocker. They were awesome...outrageous, fun, cute and a little bit naughty...how could an uncaged Catholic girl like me not take a bite from that forbidden fruit?

 

Well, twenty-nine years and twenty nine pounds later...Charlie's still  blaring ACDC (much to our neighbors' dismay), those blues eyes still rock my world and he's still just naughty enough to keep this choir girl on her toes. We celebrated 20 years of wedded bliss last month...well, as much as we could given that Charlie was barely conscious from 2 1/2 hours of shoulder surgery the day before...ahhh to grow old together!

But, here's the beauty part...a new generation of Christensen boy is on the scene and he melts me more than I ever knew any boy could.

His 8th birthday was also in January and we celebrated with pizza, pals and this awesome castle cake made with love by Mamma.

But I think the most fun was delivering three dozen piping hot homemade honey buns to Will's classroom on his birthday for the whole class to enjoy. Of course, there was the test batch the week before and the leftovers the days that followed. I believe January is now officially the month of the "honey bun" in the Christensen household.

So, in honor of my two honey buns, I'd like to share the recipe with you. In the words of the illustrious Pillsbury dough boy, "nothin' says lovin' like somthin' from the oven..." and guaranteed...these will say it loud and clear like nothin' else!

I adapted a recipe for cinnamon buns and substituted honey for sugar. It makes for darker buns (you'll see in the photos) but the honey adds a nice flavor and it makes it so I can call them honey buns, which is enough reason for me. The full recipe follows as usual but here are some photos and a few tips...

Here's my secret weapon...really good vanilla. Never use imitation! This stuff is pretty pricey but Santa brings it to me every year in my stocking instead of perfume. I've been known to rub a little on my wrists and dab a little behind my ears so I figure Santa gets off easy if you look at it that way.

Do you ever notice that your recipes seem to call for too much flour? Here's the deal...when you measure your flour, don't forget to scoop it lightly into the cup then level it off, not pack it in like brown sugar. Real live bakers (which I am not) actually measure their ingredients by weight. A packed cup of flour vs. a properly measured one weighs almost an ounce more!

After mixing the wet stuff with half of the flour and letting it sit for a bit (this makes something called the "sponge") it's time to add soft butter and salt.

After adding the rest of the flour, you will have a soft, just a little bit sticky dough. Turn it out onto a floured surface and knead away...

When it's soft and silky, place it in an oiled bowl to rise for an hour or so...Now comes the fun part...punch it baby!

Time to shape your buns, so to speak. Roll the deflated dough into a 12 x 16 rectangle then spread with softened butter. If the dough wants to keep springing back, let it rest again for a few minutes and try again.

Sprinkle evenly with your sweet and cinnamony filling. I used dark brown sugar because that it was I had on hand but I recommend light. I think the dark sugar also contributed to the slight over-brownness of my buns.

Then roll, baby roll. Moisten one long end of the rectangle with water. Start at the other long end and begin to roll, tucking with your fingers as you go. You'll end up with something like this.

Use a long serrated knife and cut into 12 even slices then place evenly in the generously buttered pan, brushing the outer edges with melted butter to prevent them from sticking to each other.

 Cover and let rise until they look something like this. Aren't they cozy?

Bake for about a half hour until they are golden brown and cooked through. The honey makes them a little dark. Substitute sugar for the honey if you like your buns on the lighter side, so to speak.

I thought the pan made a cool design after I turned the warm buns out and just had to share. By the way, make sure you turn the buns out while they are still warm or the sugar will harden and they will become permanently fused to your pan. Not delightful on so many levels...

Drizzle your cooled buns with the sweet glaze all fancy like this or just smear it all over...that works too. I'm a big fan of the glaze and usually rip off pieces of the buns and scoop up the glaze left in the bowl. Whatever works for you!

Cinnamon Honey Buns

Dissolve in a large bowl and let sit for 5 minutes:

• 1/4 cup quite warm but not hot water
• 1 package (1/4 ounce) active dry yeast

Dissolve in a small bowl then add to above:

• 1 cup warm milk
• 1/3 cup honey (or sugar)

Add to large bowl, mix well with wooden spoon 100 strokes or so until mixed (I use my standing mixer):

• 1 large egg, slightly beaten
• 2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 2 cups flour

Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and leave undisturbed for about 15 minutes until it is spongy.

Stir in:

•  1 1/2 tsp. salt
• 4 Tbs. soft butter

Add 1/2 cup at a time until a stiff but sticky dough forms:

• 2 plus cups more of flour

Turn out onto a clean floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic (about 5-8 minutes). Place in a large oiled bowl, turn once, cover and let rise in a warm place until double in bulk (about 1 hour).

For the filling mix and set aside:

• 3/4 cup light brown sugar
• 3/4 cups chopped nuts (pecans or walnuts)
• 2 tsp. cinnamon

When the dough has risen, punch it down a couple of times, turn it out onto your clean, lightly floured surface and knead for a minute or so. Let it rest while you generously butter a 13 x 9 baking pan.

Roll out the dough with a rolling pin to a 12 x 16 inch rectangle and spread with:

• 4 Tbs. soft butter

Sprinkle your filling evenly over the butter then roll and shape as described in the photos above. Cover and let rise about 45 minutes until about doubled again and bake at 350 for about 30 minutes, until golden. Run a knife around the pan to loosen, invert onto a rack then turn upright to cool about 20 minutes before glazing.

For honey glaze, mix:

• 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
• 2 1/2 Tbs. whole milk or cream
• 2 Tbs. melted butter
• 1/8 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/8-1/4 tsp. grated orange zest
• Big squeeze of honey

Makes 12 buns for your honeys

One day Joseph laid an egg…

I don't really remember how we came to own a do-it-yourself countertop chicken incubator but I do remember the day Joseph was born, I mean hatched. You see, Joseph thought she was people. And, we thought she was a he...until he, I mean she, laid an egg.

I do know that it was a fall morning in 1973. I remember because that was the year that my brother Greg was in eighth grade…the year he received his Sacrament of Confirmation. Who would have known that on that special morning the Holy Spirit would descend upon him in the form of a baby Rhode Island Red. Wasn’t it supposed to be a ball of fire and a dove or something? A red chicken? Close enough.

Anyway, rewind a few weeks earlier when we approached Villia, the Peruvian lady up the street, to part with three fertilized chicken eggs so we could conduct our home hatchery experiment. Her daughter Susan was in my class and we knew that she’d probably have a randy rooster or two willing to donate to the cause as their house was this wild wacky menagerie perched high atop the Fairfax hills. In fact, Mom, still a city girl at heart, was convinced that if she actually piloted our wood paneled Country Squire up the windy ascent that she’d never be able to turn it around and navigate back down. I remember many a birthday party at that house (carpooled by a friend’s mom of course) playing pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey surrounded by real live chickens, goats, ferrets a pony or two and I think a couple of monkeys until the Feds put 'em in cuffs and hauled them away.

So, the precious eggs made their way down the hill and into the heated plastic dome that sat on our counter until one morning…crack…Josephine, the sole survivor of our in vitro trio, made her entrance. At our request, Villia promptly bombed down the hill in her red 1964 Rambler station wagon to show us how to properly tend to a newborn baby chick. With her bright red comb and feisty demeanor, we were certain that we had hatched a rooster and promptly named our baby bird Joseph, in honor of the name my brother would take at confirmation that afternoon. What did we know, we were city folk after all?

Check out those sideburns (on my Dad...not Josephine). That's her in my Dad's arms.

Joseph thrived as the newest member of our brood and was the happiest free range rooster a family ever had. We held her, pet her, fed her table scraps, and soon she became fast friends with our German Shepherd named Brian Patrick (no wonder he had issues). They were the two coolest dudes ever to cruise a suburban backyard, despite their severe identity crises. Here they are both ready to be let in for the night. Yes, Josephine slept inside.

Until one day… Joseph laid an egg (in my toy box, thank you very much).

From that day forward, Joseph became known as Josephine and each day she rewarded our family with one luscious, speckled brown egg which she carefully deposited atop my baby doll’s former blankie. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to fully enjoy the runny, pale-yoked excuses for eggs that I resort to purchasing in 18 packs at my local market. Until today…

You see, my neighbor Laura told me that my other neighbor Natalie had taken to raising chickens in her backyard and was willing to share the love. Now, in some of my weaker wanna-be-Martha moments, I toyed with the idea of building a coop myself, but just didn't have the time, energy, know-how, money…everything…to do it. Get fresh eggs delivered on demand from the neighbor instead? Heck ya!

So, today I received my first delivery, and to celebrate, I decided to make a creamy, custardy whacked-out ice cream recipe that I concocted a couple of months ago during a fleeting whim to enter a Häagen-Dazs create-a-flavor contest...which apparently no longer exists. Oh well...another plan foiled. But I must admit, the French Toast Ice Cream that I cooked up was worthy. Here's what I did...

Start by making the "french toast" by cubing a few slices of nice firm white bread.

I melted some butter, brown sugar and cinnamon and drizzled it over the bread, then toasted them up in the oven.

While the french toast was toasting, I concocted some maple caramel sauce to swirl into the ice cream. Here's the brown sugar and maple syrup ready to melt down.

The experiment worked! I poured it into a gravy boat to chill while I made the custard for the ice cream. This makes more than you will need. Save the extra to pour over store-bought ice cream or to eat by the spoonful while standing in front of the fridge.

Custard can be a little tricky. William helped me separate the six, yes six, eggs...

...then I tempered the yummy yokes with hot milk, put the mix back in the pot, whisked and watched the temp till it reached 170 degrees. Don't scramble those eggs!

Strain out any little scramblies then chill it up before freezing it in your ice cream maker.

Uh huh...

French Toast Ice Cream

For the "toast"

Slice into 1/4" cubes:

• 4 slices of firm white bread (you will probably only use three but will want to snack on the extras)

Whisk together:

• 4 Tbs melted butter
• 2 Tbs. brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon

Drizzle butter mixture over cubes, toss to coat and toast in a single layer on a baking sheet at 300 degrees for 20-25 minutes until they are crispy and golden.

For the maple caramel sauce

Melt in a saucepan until dissolved:

• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 cup REAL maple syrup

Add and bring to a boil:

• 1/2 cup heavy cream

Gently boil until sauce is reduced by about 1/3, about 20 minutes. Chill.

For the ice cream custard

Whisk:

• 6 egg yolks
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp. cinnamon

Bring to a gentle boil:

• 2 cups of whole milk

Add half of the hot milk in a stream to the egg mixture, whisking the whole time. Then, add the egg mixture back into the pot and. cook over low heat , stirring constantly until the mixture is thick and the temperature is about 170 degrees. Slower is better and don't leave the pot to put the laundry in the dryer. The eggs will scramble in a blink if they get too hot!

Stir in:

• 1 cup heavy cream

Strain the mixture through a fine sieve and stir in:

• 3 Tbs. REAL maple syrup

Transfer to a stainless steel bowl and chill in the fridge or set over ice if you are in a hurry to get it into the ice cream maker (like me).

When the custard is nice and chilly, freeze the mixture in your ice cream maker* according to the directions. When it's ready, fold in the crunchy "french toast" cubes. Drizzle in the caramel sauce to taste and swirl it around without mixing it in entirely. Place in a tub then into the freezer to harden. Give it at least 2 or 3 hours (or just eat it soft with a spoon right out of the ice cream maker). May I recommend doing both...

Makes a little over a quart.

*Having an ice cream maker at home is fun! You can get one for as little as $25 or so at Target which is the model I used for a million years. Kids love it and it's very "cool" to be able to serve home made ice cream to guests. Last year, Mom bought me the freezer attachment for my Kitchenaid standing mixer...so easy. As long as I keep the canister in my freezer and heavy cream in my fridge, I can make ice cream on the fly any time.