Anna Banana

My cousin Karen sent me an email the other day.

After seeing herself in a vintage family photo I posted a couple of months ago, she thought it would be fun to reminisce about Gramma Anna, the patient, simple, fun-loving, albeit vertically challenged better half to our fiery French-blooded Grampa Henry.

Among her many virtues, I think the thing we loved most about Gramma Anna was that she was consistent. As the self-appointed family historian, Gramma Anna wrote smack dab on the front of every photo...most of which she took with her old Brownie box camera. Formal portrait or family snapshot, it really didn't matter, Gramma would record the facts on each photo. It drove us crazy then...but what would we do without those notes today!

"Anna-Banana” she’d say to us kids in her deliberate, syllabic way as she'd peer through the little Brownie viewfinder and we’d shriek with delight each time at her wacky wit. “Anna-Banana”…how clever! It really didn’t take much to make us smile.

Topping off at an honest four feet-eleven, Grandma Anna also faithfully served as the family’s human grow stick. Posted like a diminutive sentry at the threshold of their Outer Mission headquarters, she would stand at the top of those terracotta steps, hand held high in the air, waiting to tap the top of our heads as we walked through the door to gauge where we measured up against those almost five feet of hers. With a smooch on the lips, she'd proclaim how much we’d all sprouted since our last visit and how she must be shrinking too…and she was!

At every family event we’d gather at "Eight-Ee-Se-Ven-Na-Va-Ho" (pronounced by Gramma as seven separate words) and the six of us grand kids would run off to the back of the house not to be seen until the turkey made its way onto the crochet-clad dining room table. We’d leave the grown-ups to their chit-chat, their log of Gallo salami and their jug of Carlo Rossi red table wine and be off to explore the wonder that was Gramma and Grampa’s house.

We’d rifle through the designated toy drawer in Auntie Janet’s old bedroom, and fight over the same old trinkets that waited patiently for us to abuse at every visit. We’d play Circus Bingo and Yahtzee and when we were bored with that, we’d explore Gramma’s jewelry drawer and admire her precious “Oh-Pal” (pronounced as two separate words) and Grampa’s silver dollar bill clip.

And, on the rare occasion that Mom and Dad needed a babysitter, we were treated to a city sleepover where Gramma would give us her undivided attention, teaching us how to play poker for dimes or letting us transform a loaf of Wonder bread into stacks of fake hosts so we could practice for our much anticipated First Holy Communions.

When we got a little older, we’d descend into the basement wonderland where Grampa kept his tools and wood scraps that the boys would consistently craft into some form of weaponry. The girl cousins loved the easy access into the garden where we’d mix up muddy concoctions and bury coffee cans full of treasure stowed to unearth on future visits.

The old chest freezer was down there too and if we were feeling especially naughty, we’d pick the lock and steal a nibble of the Carnation coconut-covered vanilla ice cream snowballs that were always there around the holidays, nestled between 40 pounds of butcher-paper wrapped red meat and stacks of thin white boxes filled with frozen ravioli. We learned that if we repositioned the decorative plastic holly leaf just right over the tell-tale bite marks, no one would know that the snowballs had been compromised.


That basement was our clubhouse and we were happy to share it with the old, early-70’s model Oldsmobile (which Grampa insisted on calling a Cadillac) that faithfully ferried them to our house almost every weekend. They were professional fans and never missed one of the many Little League games or dance recitals that commanded their attendance.

Wearing a floral polyester, long-sleeved dress and sun visor, Gramma Anna would sit patiently in the bleachers, notepad in-hand , meticulously recording statistics and observations. At the end of each event, she’d tuck her notepad into her well-organized purse and announce that it was time to go home to “San-Fran-Sis-Co-Watch-My-Fist-Go” (pronounced like eight separate words) and off they would ride into the Sunset, so-to-speak.

As they’d pull into the driveway of "Eight-Ee-Se-Ven-Na-Va-Ho" Grandma would reach into the glove box for yet another notepad, record their mileage and fuel consumption, neatly re-secure it with a rubber band and stow it back away. She’d then hop out of the passenger seat, stand in front of the open garage door and waive Grandpa in as if together they were landing a fighter plane on the deck of the USS Nimitz.

Sometimes Grampa would make it through the narrow portal unscathed, but the deep battle scars stretching down both sides of the Olds proved that their success rate was less than 100%.

When we’d come back upstairs, our first stop would always be the kitchen. After a couple of hours in the tunnels, we’d worked up quite an appetite and could always count on finding handfuls Oreos in the chipped, glued and re-glued Raggedy Ann cookie jar (which I now proudly display in my kitchen) and an opened, less-than-fresh box of chocolate-covered Hostess mini-donuts on the counter.


We’d wash it all down with a cold glass of Tang (pronounced by Gramma as “Tanj”) and while we were in the fridge we’d sneak a spoonful of chocolate pudding (the cooked, Jello-brand kind, of course) digging beneath the characteristic surface skin to find that familiar, chocolaty, lumpy, goodness. Yes, it’s true, Gramma Anna wasn’t known for her culinary prowess, but a visit to their house wouldn’t be the same without those donuts, that pudding, and that “Tanj.”

So, as a gift to my brothers and my cousins, but most of all to celebrate our “Anna Banana”, I share with you my version of chocolate pudding that I hope you will all enjoy in good health. It may not be Jello-brand, but it is cooked, it is chocolaty and it is guaranteed delicious. I make it today in the shadow of that Raggedy Ann cookie jar and as I put it in the fridge to cool, I look up, and raise a cold glass of “Tanj” to our beloved Gramma Anna. Enjoy the pudding, my brothers and my cousins…enjoy one-and-all. I think I’ll play some Yahtzee tonight.



Get all of your ingredients together...this recipe cooks up fast...no time to go searching for the vanilla or you'll get lumps! My favorite chocolate to use is the Ghirardelli 60% Cacao Dark...and it comes in a 4 ounce bar. Carly made a double batch last night and brought it to school today with 10 spoons. She used Trader Joes Dark (which is what I had on hand) and it was good too...and way less expensive!

 Throw the sugar, cornstarch and salt into a heavy saucepan and whisk it together...

Add the chopped chocolate then whisk the egg yolk into the milk and add it to the pot...keep whisking...

Melt everything down until it looks (and smells!) like hot chocolate then gently bring it up to a boil over medium high heat. When it starts to thicken remove it from the heat (about one minute).





Add a tablespoon of butter and the vanilla and whisk it until it is smooth and glossy. Pour it immediately into two 8 ounce ramekins or whatever fancy dish or dishes you'd like and chill. The recipe serves two but I think the portions are too huge...it's sooo rich! I suggest putting it into two smaller dishes then leaving a big glob of it in the pot to eat right then and there sharing spoonfuls with whomever is in lips' reach.

Bittersweet Chocolate Pudding

In a heavy saucepan whisk together:

• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 Tablespoons cornstarch
• pinch of salt

Add:

• 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped

Whisk together then add to the pot:

• 1 1/3 cups whole milk
• 1 large egg yolk

Keep whisking over medium-high heat until the chocolate melts and when it starts to bubble watch it until it thickens then remove it from the heat (about one minute). Add and mix until smooth and glossy:

• 1 Tablespoon unsalted butter
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla

Pour into two to four serving dishes, chill and garnish with:

• whipped cream and chocolate shavings if you've got 'em.

Serves two to four



I'm in the mood for love...

...and I love chocolate.

So, what's a Swiss miss like me going to lay on my lovies this Valentine's Day...I'm thinking we're gonna have a fondue freak out.

Not that Charlie and the kids are first-time fonduers.

In fact, Carly's last birthday party was a Swiss-themed extravaganza complete with cheese and chocolate fondues, a cake shaped like a dairy cow, Swiss flag decor everywhere(toothpicks, napkin rings, candles, balloons, t-shirts), Edelweiss confetti...and even paper napkins with Heidi's little face emblazoned on them...

Here's the famous cow cake. I tried to make her stand upright but she fall down...go boom. I think I like her this way better...

Why, you ask, would a fourteen-year-old girl yearn for such a celebration (other than her DNA-encoded obsession with cheese and chocolate)? Perhaps it has something to do with the GIANT box of Swiss tchotkes collecting dust on our junk closet shelf. Mind you, this is just the tip of the Matterhorn, so to speak.

We've got pillows, beach towels, calendars, books and fanny packs shoved into drawers all over the house and pounds and pounds of Swiss chocolate that is, let's just say, no longer with us. Check out those Heidi paper napkins in the middle of the box...awesome!

You see, about ten years ago, Mom got a letter from a long-lost Swiss cousin. She had just had a baby girl (my cousin, not my Mom!) and, as an English teacher, was anxious to connect her young family with some real-live American relatives. So, these cousins (we're talking the real deal here...peasant blouses, dirndl skirts, snow-capped mountains, shuttered chalets, yodel music, cows with bells...the works) made the connection and over the years we've gotten to know each other by trading trinkets via airmail.

By now, Mildred (the little Swiss girl) must have the most impressive collection of Barney, Brittany and Hannah Montana t-shirts, tote bags and pencil sharpeners of any girl her side of the Alps. For sure, more than any family that flies the Stars and Stripes, we must hold the record for most wacky items brandishing the Swiss flag. I bet you don't have egg cups like these. In fact, I bet you don't have egg cups, period.

Anyway...back to fondue.


Aside from being one of the most delicious desserts on the planet, it is also one of the fastest and easiest to prepare. And, since we're talking Valentine's Day, what could be more romantic than gazing through the flicker of the fondue flame into each other's eyes over a silken pot of molten chocolate. Or, in our case, what could be more fun than wrestling over that same pot with two sugar-crazed kids and big daddy over the last cube of pound cake (the more likely scenario at our Valentine's table). Whatever your scene...chocolate fondue never disappoints.

Let's get fonduing...

Chop 8 ounces of great-tasting chocolate (I like bittersweet). This is Ghirardelli 60% Cacao Bittersweet.

Pour 1/2 cup of cream into a heavy saucepan and heat until it begins to steam (don't let it boil). Remove the pot from the heat, add the chopped chocolate and let stand for a minute or so while the chocolate begins to melt.

Stir the mixture until it is smooth and glossy then stir in 1-3 tablespoons of Grand Marnier, or to taste. I think I'll stick with 1 tablespoon this time so flames don't shoot out of my kids' ears ...it's pretty potent stuff but I think it makes the fondue special. Try other liqueur flavors if you're not an orange fan or a little vanilla and grated orange zest if you choose to go booze-free.

Pour the mixture into your fondue pot and place over a low flame to keep warm. Or, if you don't have a fondue pot or are too lazy to get it out of the attic (that would be me), serve it out of the pot or spoon it into a pre-warmed bowl. Reheat it if necessary but it'll probably go so fast you won't need to.

Serve with your favorite dipping stuff. Here are some ideas: cubed firm pound cake, cubed Rice Krispy treats, pineapple, strawberries, bananas, sliced pears, sliced apples, marshmallows, pretzels, dried fruit...

Chocolate Fondue

Heat:

• 1/2 cup of cream

Stir in until smooth:

• 8 ounces of chopped chocolate (I use bittersweet).

Add in:

• 1-3 Tablespoons Grand Marnier

Spoon into fondue pot over low flame and serve with your favorite dipping treats.

Serves: 4-6

Have a Chewy, Gooey Christmas

When Charlie and I were first married, I remember wondering what our first Christmas together would be like. Sure, we’d buy our own tree, decorate it with our few meager ornaments and call Mom for her Tom and Jerry recipe but what would our new family traditions look like?

Somehow, I knew that I wasn’t going to find a shiny new Baby Tenderlove under the tree like I did every year of my youth (check me out below complete with foam hair curlers) and Mom and I weren’t going to stay up until all hours wrapping home made Christmas candy.

I was also quite sure that Santa would not replace Charlie's cool bike that he totalled Christmas morning 1970 nor would he dance around the Christmas tree hand-in-hand with his Danish cousins singing traditional Christmas folk songs as he did growing up…at least I hoped he wasn’t…

Well, nineteen years and gallons of Tom and Jerrys later, I am happy to report that there is no shortage of Christmas tradition in the Christensen household. It seems that every year has seen the addition of a new “must do” lest the season not be merry. Gingerbread houses, candy cane cookies, Christmas card collages, our favorite Christmas morning wakeup song (blared by Charlie off of our beloved Stars Come Out for Christmas CD that I got free with the purchase of two Burrito Supremes and a Sprite)…ah yes, tradition is rich at Casa Christensen.

In recent years, we’ve decided to share the homespun Yuletide love with our friends in business as well. Could we order up a few Harry and David gift baskets and call it a day…sure…but where would the fun be for Donna in that? Could we have cards printed and send them off with computer-generated labels…you bet…but what else would Donna have to ponder as she drifted off to sleep if she couldn’t obsess over what sweet treat to make, what color ribbon to choose and how to create an original label on my dinosaur of a desktop complete with CWC logo?

Yes, I have issues…welcome to the twisted mass of blinking Christmas lights that is my brain from November 27-December 25!

This year’s treat of choice resulted in two weeks of chewy, chocolaty, caramel craziness. The recipe sounded easy enough (Chocolate Caramels with Sea Salt).

Now, I’ve made plenty of caramels in my day but I guess I forgot that every batch tends to turn out wildly different than the next and that no manner of ingredient, time and/or temperature control would produce consistent results. The taste was consistent, I must say, so I had that going for me, but one batch would be gooey and the next chewy as can be...go figure!

So, if you are one of the honored recipients of this year’s CWC treat we hope you enjoy them no matter what…chill them if they’re gooey (they’re perfect cold) and eat them at room temp of they’re chewy...if you chill them, you’ll break a tooth. I think they’re good both ways. If you choose to make them yourself, just go with the flow and enjoy them no matter what. Buy more ingredients than you need and expect to keep the less than perfect batch for yourself if you are planning on giving them as gifts.

Here’s what I started with.

My friend brought this cool salt back from Bali for me.

This is what the caramel looks like before and after it reaches the right color.

This is the perfect pan to pour your molten mixture into…see how I prepared it with parchment…this is important!

Use a greased knife to cut them into 1” squares and wrap them in waxed paper. Check out these special wrappers I bought at Cake Art…isn’t the package awesome…out of the 50’s!

Here’s how I packaged them…

Chocolate Caramels

with Sea Salt

Heat until just bubbling

• 2 cups heavy cream

Remove from heat, add to saucepan and stir until melted

• 10.5 ounces of bittersweet chocolate

In a separate heavy saucepan mix and melt over moderate heat

• 1 ¾ cups sugar
• ½ cup light corn syrup
• ¼ cup water
• ¼ tsp salt

Continue to boil caramel over moderate heat swirling from time to time until it is golden in color. Add chocolate and cream mixture to the caramel pot (it will really bubble up, don’t fear), stir and continue to boil until candy thermometer reaches 255 degrees. This is the tricky part…watch it…it changes temperature quickly.



Also, the consistency should feel somewhat thick but not blobby…remember, it will set up a lot when cooled. It is so hard to judge by consistency and candy thermometers aren’t always accurate. Another way to check is to drop a blob into a glass of ice water, pull it out and feel the consistency. It should set up like caramel, not too runny and not hard like a Tootsie Roll.

Stir in

• 1 ½ Tbs unsalted butter

Immediately pour into a parchment-lined 8 x8 inch metal baking pan. Let caramel stand 10-15 minutes then sprinkle with

• 2 Tbs flaky sea salt

Cool completely then invert onto a clean parchment-lined cutting board. Flip right side up and cut with a greased sharp knife into 1" squares.

Caramels keep wrapped tightly in a cool place two weeks.


Adapted from Gourmet Magazine December 2006