Coconut and Karma

Funny how the universe has a way of working things out. Sometimes it takes twenty years...but when payback is due, one must pay.

You see, it was about twenty years ago that I asked two of my best girlfriends to make my wedding cake.

Seriously?

What was I thinking?

Were these gals professional pastry chefs? No. Were they trained in food service or food preparation in any way? No. Were they particularly crafty or foodie? No. Did they even like to cook? I think you know the answer...

The fact was that one of them (Onnie) had recently taken a cake decorating class with her sister and I made the executive decision that she, bolstered by the moral support of our other friend Susi, would be more than adequately qualified to bake, decorate, assemble, and transport a four-tiered wedding cake for 200. Wouldn't they be honored by my request? Wouldn't they be relieved to have their wedding gift choice made for them? Wouldn't they think it would be "fun?"

Never mind that Onnie's experience went as far as the remedial weekend course at Cake Art. Never mind that, at the time, Susi's idea of fine cooking meant that she actually took the tortilla chips out of the bag before serving them. Oh yes...did I mention that Onnie was about 22 months pregnant? No problem.

So, of course, my dear, dear, friends said yes...and the adventure began.

Needless to say, I dictated the cake recipe (one ladened with rich almond paste, sugar and eggs), the filling (wouldn't lemon curd be a lovely addition?), the frosting (a cream cheese buttercream) and a detailed piping pattern straight out of a book called  "Weddings" by some new upstart named Martha Stewart). Not to worry about keeping the rich, buttery, concoction cool. The wedding was in January after all.

Well...it doesn't take Einstein to do the math.: twelve logs of almond paste, ten pounds of butter, eight pounds of cream cheese, four dozen eggs, a small tree full of lemons, a giant sack of cake flour and a bigger one of sugar...add a pinch of inexperience, a 75 degree January day, and what do you get...the leaning tower of cake.

It gets better.  Charlie's dad was, at the time, the president and long-standing member of the golf club where our reception was held. As my friends walked through the door, gingerly transporting each tier to the cake table, the layers continued to shift like lemon-filled tectonic plates before their eyes and the catering manager watched in horror, shaking her head, as the tower began to buckle.

"Do you realize who's wedding this is?" she said to them as they stacked and centered and shimmed. "The groom is the son of a very important member and we just can't have this!" My friends stood there shaking in their patent leather pumps.

She had no idea that they weren't professionals...that they were my faithful friends, delivering a a labor of love filled more with their blood sweat and tears than sugar, eggs and flour.

The florist (thank goodness, another old friend) came to their aid, scurrying around the layers like a frenzied worker bee, shoving ferns and flowers under every divot until, when you looked at it from just the right angle, it shined like the masterpiece it was. I can still see them intercepting me at the entrance of the club before I could make my way to the cake table. They each took me by the hand, looked me sheepishly in the eyes and said, "at least the cake is moist."

It was beautiful. It was delicious. And, I can't imagine a more perfect cake.

Now the payback.

About a year ago, my friend Cherie announced that she was engaged, a wedding was in the works (yay!), and, by the way, would I make the cake (huh)?

OK. So I do like to cook, I've baked a cake or two in my day, I am a little bit crafty, but my "customers" are generally a bit less discerning and my home spun, boxed Betty Crocker creations usually take the shape of a  pink barbie doll, a fire engine or a space shuttle designed to serve 10-12 sugar-crazed kids who's only concern is if they get the piece with the rose.

Will insisted that his macho fire truck have pink roses like all of Sissy's bday cakes

A wedding cake? A creation that will be showcased and immortalized in photos on one of the most important days of my friend's life?  I broke into a flop sweat. "OK kiddo," I mumble to myself, "you're in the big leagues now."

Well, a couple of months passed, the wedding got postponed due to a move and I figured that I had fooled fate and dodged the cake bullet....until I got the call this May. "We're doing it. The wedding's on, it's in June and, by the way, you will still make the cake...right?"

Thank goodness Cherie scored much lower on the "Bridezilla" scale than me. Her only four requests were that the cake have a coconut flavor, that it not be dry, that the flowers match her bouquet and that I use the hand-crafted, monogram topper she ordered that was to arrive a couple of days before the wedding.

Alrighty then...I can do this. For three weeks, I'd lie in bed at night, visions of coconuts dancing in my head. What recipe would I use? How would I prevent a reenactment of the leaning tower? Should I risk adding a flavored filling? Would the layers slide? Was my fate already sealed?

Why even try?

But try I did
.

In the weeks that followed, my family and neighbors ate more coconut than the combined cast of eight seasons of Survivor. Don't like coconut? Don't care. I forced a bite on anyone that came through my door, seeking any opinion on the perfect combination of flavors and ratio of frosting to cake.

So here is my first attempt. I went for alternating layers of super-tangy lemon curd and cream cheese frosting. The thick curd oozed out the sides as I frosted and the unevenly-baked dome-shaped layers really looked awful when sliced...even if I did try to level everything out with gobs of icing. I tried a new coconut cake recipe too, looking for an alternate to my old standby (a recipe from a local cafe) that Cherie remembered as dry!

Ok...test cake #2.  Let's try a less cloying frosting: a Vanilla Swiss Meringue Buttercream and a more subtle lemon curd. I'm gonna use my old standby recipe too (I don't remember it being dry).  Let's even throw some flowers on from the garden to get in the mood...

OK. We're getting somewhere. The layers were not so humpy, the new lemon curd recipe and a combo of filling and frosting in each level versus alternating proved much more subtle. I was way less heavy-handed on the frosting repair too and, dog-gonnit , I'm using my coconut cake recipe...the bride just got out-voted. We also tried a little toasted coconut in the filling layers but nixed that idea...too chewy.

OK. T-minus two days until the wedding...time to get organized. First, under cover of darkness, we stole our lemons from the neighbors trees.

Next, we made four trips to the store for the ingredients...is it really possible I will be using all of this butter? We even had to buy more!

Now, time to make the lemon curd filling and get it chillin'. Butter, sugar, lemon juice, lemon zest and eggs, heated and stirred until you can run your finger across the back of a wooden spoon and it leaves a track.

Time to bake us some cakes...

Here's what happens when a teen-aged girl is your sous-chef...

God forbid, our layers aren't level (or someone find a long blonde hair in their slice)...

So far so good: 2 batches of filling made, twelve layers of cakes baked...time to whip up four batches of Vanilla Swiss Meringue Buttercream (that means four pounds of butter), recipe compliments of our friend Christa, a real live pastry chef!

Carly...let's do this thing. First, a little lemon curd...

...a little buttercream...

...just right.

Can't stop...must keep going.

Oh, did I mention that the cake topper (a shell-encrusted monogram of their last name) arrived...

...and although gorgeous, it was almost as big as the cake. No problem. "Carly...get out the glue gun and the hula shells. We've got us a topper to make."

Do you think Cherie will notice that we made a new one half the size? Gonna have to roll the dice on this one.

Let's start to put this puppy together.

We loaded all three tiers and ourselves into the car and arrived at St. Vincent's kitchen in close to one piece. We crossed our fingers and started to build. Sturdy wooden dowels inserted at each level did their work...

...and the improvised topper glued firmly to the top of a sharpened dowel got skewered through the whole tower...this thing was a brick house. Thank goodness Onnie and Susi took the bullet for me on Cake Construction 101. Had mine not buckled, I'd never known the questions to ask to make sure this sucker stood.

I dare you to knock it over!

Now the best part of all...flowers! Carly was genius. I couldn't have done it without her.

Carly...quick...take a picture with your phone! The wedding is about to start!

To our delight, the catering staff had moved the cake to the reception area while we enjoyed the beautiful ceremony. Phew...better them than us! High fives all around when we saw it safely in place.

I think it's safe to say they liked it!

So, when all was said and done, I'd have to say that as far as karmic payback goes, I got off pretty easy on this one. Convinced that the universe would not let me succeed after my torturous request twenty years ago, it turns out that the beautiful gift my friends made for me back then was one that kept on giving. Not only do I smile from ear to ear every time I come across those old photos but , twenty years later, I was able to learn from their stumbles and pay their gift of love forward.

Cheers to you Cherie and Jason. May you look at these photos twenty years from now and smile like I do about times shared with friends and gifts given with the love only a "sister" can give.

Vanilla Swiss Meringue Buttercream

Whisk in the bowl of a stand mixer and place over a water bath (bain-marie) and heat, whisking constantly (be careful not to scramble the egg whites), until the mixture is warm and sugar is completely melted (you should feel no graininess when you rub it between your fingers):

• 4 egg whites
• 1 cup plus 3 Tablespoons of sugar

Remove from heat and whip at high speed until it's cooled to room temp and is light like marshmallow fluff. With mixer on medium-high speed, add soft butter a few tablespoons at a time, allowing each addition to fully incorporate before adding another:

• 1 pound unsalted butter, softened 

Add and beat well:

• 2 teaspoons good quality vanilla

*Note buttercream will look "broken" part way through the mixing process but will come back together as soon as all of the butter is added. May be refrigerated for 5 days or frozen until needed. Return to room temp and beat with a paddle attachment of a stand mixer until smooth.

(The Art and Soul of Baking by Cindy Mushet adapted by Christa and Donna)

Here are the links to the lemon curd and cake recipes...

Lemon Curd: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/lemon-curd-tart-recipe/index.html

Comforts Coconut Cake: http://www.tastebook.com/recipes/1283401-Comforts-Coconut-Cake-with-Cream-Cheese-Coconut-Frosting

Amen to Asparagus...

I don't think I'm supposed to admit this, but I think I might be a bit of a "Cafeteria Catholic"...you know, the type that strolls through the believers' buffet line scooping up a tasty morsel here and a juicy nugget there rather than gobbling up everything that is served.

I'm going to go ahead and trust that this confession is not going to send me straight to the fiery pits of hell and believe that I am a better person for admitting my inconsistencies. I'm also going to go out on a limb and claim that, by the time I reach the end of that blessed buffet line, my plate is more full of God-lovin' goodies than most who check the Catholic box.

I have witnesses that can attest to my presence at church on a somewhat consistently inconsistent basis. Anyone that knows me has admired the collection of shiny little gold Jesuses, Marys and Guardian Angels that swing from a long gold chain around my neck. They've seen me wave them like a voodoo priestess with a charmed chicken bone over anyone or anything in need of a little blessing. And, I bet you don't have a cool, glow-in-the-dark St. Christopher medal clipped to your car visor like I do.

You get my point. I may not be the perfect Catholic but I do have faith, I want to believe, and most importantly, we try to teach our kids by example that the good ole' "Golden Rule" should be the litmus test for any choices they make now and in their adult lives.

So, "Donna," you ask, "what  in heaven's name can any of this have to do with asparagus?"

I'm so glad you asked.

Last weekend was Will's First Holy Communion and I've gotta tell you...my plate runneth over.

Watching those little second grade soldiers, all primped up and pious, march up the aisle suited in their First Communion finery was enough to bring any lost lamb back into the fold.

Can it really be 40 years ago that we made that march?

Check out little Charlie's sweet tie clip...

Yes, the wallpaper is olive green and gold foil stripes. That's Grandma Anna in the mirror taking the photo.

Hey, Charlie and I even put a decent little chunk of change into the offertory basket and when the second collection came around, I didn't feign distraction, pretending to urgently dig a tissue from the depths of my purse. We actually reached into our wallets and served it up again! Go Team!

Well, what would any sacrament worth its salt be without a healthy helping of food and booze to follow? So the thirty-five in our brood caravaned back to our pad to properly feast on bread and wine...like good Catholics should.

Yes, the cake was compliments of Safeway...sometimes you've just gotta let go...

Aside from the bread and wine, we served up yummy cheeseburgers (Willy's request), Auntie Mary Kay's world famous potato salad (Charlie's request), Fatoosh salad (Heidi's recipe from Insalata's), a gorgeous tropical fruit platter crafted by Grandma Liz and my little tribute to spring...grilled asparagus with lemon vinaigrette and toasted hazelnuts. The appetizers and dessert were tasty too but I'll save that for some other time.

OK, so I did make iced sugar cookie favors...crosses with Willy's monogram

I love this asparagus dish for a buffet because it's bright, colorful, looks a little bit fancy but is relatively inexpensive (when asparagus are in season), super easy, and totally OK to do the night before.

Start by snapping the woody ends from the asparagus stalks. Choose fresh veggies with firmly packed tips, pinch them with two hands toward the end, then gently bend in what you guess might be the weak point until the tough part snaps right off...as demonstrated below by my trusty assistant.

You'll be left with a pile of tender stalks. Another way to go is to peel the tough ends with a vegetable peeler. This saves more of the stalk and makes for a fancier presentation but who has time for that?

Drizzle them to coat with olive oil...

Then pop them on a hot grill and roll them around until they are heated through and have lovely marks...

...like the photo below. Don't overcook...keep them crispy as they are tastier this way and they will continue to steam in their own heat as they cool. If an outdoor grill isn't practical, use an indoor grill pan or roast them in the oven in one layer on a baking sheet.  After cooled, you can cover them and refrigerate until it is time to plate and dress just before service.

Whip up your vinaigrette the night before too. A couple of tablespoons of fresh lemon juice...

...a tablespoon of Dijon mustard, minced shallots, olive oil, a bit of sugar, pepper and voila! Good stuff. I like to dump all of my ingredients into a little jam jar and give 'em a good shake. Makes for easy storage too.

Drizzle the dressing over the grilled veggies and sprinkle with finely chopped, toasted hazelnuts. After munching on these for dinner last night, I think I'd go a little finer with the nut chop than pictured here so the nuts don't roll off he stalks so easily.

Get 'em while they're still in the stores and enjoy!

Grilled Asparagus with Hazelnut Vinaigrette

Trim, coat with olive oil, and grill until just tender:

• 2 pounds fresh asparagus

Dump into a jar, close the lid tightly, shake until emulsified then drizzle over plated  asparagus:

• 2 Tbs. fresh lemon juice
• 1 Tbs. Dijon mustard
• 1 1/2 Tbs. finely-minced shallot
• 1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/2 tsp. sugar
• freshly ground pepper to taste

 Toast, skin,chop until fine and sprinkle over to taste:

• 1/4 cup hazelnuts

Serves 6

The Need to Feed...

Everyone has their own special way of expressing love, don't they?


Whether it's hand-holding and a heartfelt Hallmark or skywriting and something that sparkles, isn't wonderful to be shown how much you are loved?


Charlie? It appears, he prefers to say it with Charmin.  Yes, this is the love note I awoke to the other morning...it's perfect and it made my day.


Me, on the other hand? I find the need to say it with soup...and bread, and cookies and pies and jam and pickles...anything made by my hands and with my heart.

The rolls Will and I made for Grandpa Ole's 80th.

But love, it seems, isn't the only emotion that fires up my burners.


When I'm angry and the world seems cold and wrong, there's nothing like beating a big wad of stiff bread dough into submission then watching it transform into something warm and soft and pure and good.

When I'm frustrated that I don't have the power to cure my kid's croupy cough, I take up arms with a stock pot and a raw chicken and proceed to fill the house with steamy goodness and the eternal hope that chicken soup really does cure everything that ails you.


When I feel guilty about cancelling Sunday night dinner with the in-laws...again...I make a lasagna and leave it on their doorstep.

When I'm worried about one particular friend, I make her butterscotch pudding. When I'm happy for another, I make her cupcakes with sprinkles. And when I get the news that yet another is bracing herself for a round of chemo, I know that sweet and creamy baked custard (the one that my mother-in-law makes for me when I'm sick) is one of the only things that will soothe and settle and nourish.


Sad?
Tired?
Lonely?


Chocolate.
Chocolate.
Chocolate.

Put simply...I have the need to feed.


I don't know what it is about cooking for the people I love...


Is it that cooking gives me power to do "something", to somehow try to "fix-it", when all too often life is completely out of control?


Is that I have an even greater need to feed my own ego as I eagerly anticipate the gratifying sights and sounds of my friends and family enjoying the fruits of my labor ?


Is it that I love to eat so much that I'll take any excuse to open a bag of chocolate chips?


I don't know for sure but I'm guessing the answer, quite simply, is: yes, yes and yes.


It's what my mother does. It's what I do. And, quite frankly, I could think of less productive ways to work through my issues! Ya think?

Mom and I with the Jack-O-Lantern cookies we made for Kindergarten.

Mom and I teaching a kids' cooking class.

So, the other day, I got a wonderful email from a friend who is two months into a long recovery from a brutal car accident. It seems that their scheduled homemade meal deliveries had come to an end and my name was on a list of those who signed up to help out but didn't yet have the chance...and I jumped!


One of my favorite meals to deliver a home bound friend and their family is pozole with all of the fixins'. It's an authentic, Mexican, one-pot pork and hominy stew which is surprisingly simple to make yet rather fun and spectacular when adorned with all of the fresh toppings that go with it. I like to surprise my friends with it when I know that they just can't take another Pyrex full of lasagna or creamy chicken casserole! I always make a double batch and we eat it for days too and freeze a little for later.


It starts with dried New Mexico chiles...they're pretty mild as chiles go but still have a little kick. I couldn't believe it when both of my kids gobbled the pozole up the first time I made it (they call it Mamma's Spicy Soup). They're not culinary wimps mind you but they are kids none the less...I think there is something magical about this stuff.

After the chiles are soaked, they're blended with onion and garlic to make this killer, potent, puree that gets dumped into the stock pot with the pork that has been simmering for a while...

Here's what the pork looks like when it comes out of the pot. It has been simmering with chicken stock, water, Mexican oregano and enough garlic to ground a coven of vampires, then removed, cooled, shredded, and added back to the stock with lots of hominy and the chile sauce.

Once everything is added back to the pot it's almost ready to go. While it simmers, you are preparing all of the tasty stuff that gets piled on top to your liking...diced onion and radish, avocado, shredded Romaine, lime juice, and...

...this is the best part...lot's of freshly fried tortilla strips sprinkled with salt.

Here's how I like mine. I just love the combination of warm and hot, spicy and cool, stewed and fresh.

Pozole Rojo (Mexican Pork Stew)

Ingredients:

 • 1 large head garlic
• 12 cups water
• 4 cups chicken broth
• 4 pounds country-style pork ribs
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano crumbled
• 7 dried New Mexico red chiles (2 ounces)
• 1 ½ cups boiling-hot water
• ¼ large white onion
• 3 teaspoons salt
• 3 15-ounce cans white hominy
• 8 corn tortillas
• 1 ½ cups vegetable oil


• Accompaniments: diced avocado, thinly sliced romaine lettuce, chopped white onion, diced radishes, lime wedges, fresh cilantro, sour cream


Directions:

Peel garlic cloves and reserve 2 for chile sauce.


Slice remaining garlic. In a 7- to 8-quart heavy kettle bring water and broth just to a boil with sliced garlic and pork. Skim surface then add the oregano. Gently simmer pork, uncovered, until tender, about 1 1/2 hours.


While pork is simmering, discard stems from chiles and in a blender combine chiles with boiling-hot water. Soak chiles, turning them occasionally, 30 minutes. Cut onion into large pieces, add to the blender and purée with chiles and soaking liquid, reserved garlic, and 2 teaspoons salt until smooth.

Transfer pork with tongs to a cutting board but save the broth mixture! Shred pork the pork when cooled, and discard bones. Rinse and drain hominy. Return pork to broth mixture and add chile sauce, hominy, and remaining teaspoon salt. Simmer pozole 30 minutes and, if necessary, season with salt.

While pozole is simmering, stack tortillas and halve. Cut halves crosswise into thin strips. In a skillet heat 1/2 inch oil until hot but not smoking and fry tortilla strips in 3 or 4 batches, stirring occasionally, until golden, 1 to 2 minutes. They get dark fast so watch 'em! Transfer tortilla strips with a slotted spoon as they are fried to paper towels to drain (I place my paper towels over a flatened brown grocery bag for added absorbtion). Transfer tortilla strips to a bowl.

Serve pozole with tortilla strips and bowls of accompaniments.

Serves: 8

Adapted from Gourmet Magazine


Note: This is a great do-ahead recipe. Make the pozole a couple of days in advance, no problem. Fry the tortillas the day before and prep all of the fixins' morning of.